House of cards

We are Building forward , and celebrating the fact that money previously tied up in  bank bureaucracy is now available . It is amazing though how quickly funds are allocated and evaporated . With the money we bought the required raw materials for our foundation but still we have not been able to pay the builder in full for his work up to date .

This hurts my heart, as I understand deeply how it is to be a card sitting delicately within a stack of cards metres high. Our interconnected group of women at LWH is the most delicate structure - with one compromised we fall in our entirety . The builder is in the same position : If he is not paid he cannot pay his labourers who depend in turn on his cheques to feed children and grandparents. The structure can so easily fall.

Thankfully he is an understanding man , and he hears me out as I explain how I need to make more sales to meet the payments . Yet even he feels the need to remind me that building a house is not a game , and that he is in turn responsible for 6 people ... It pains me to think that my daunting and fragile house of cards is even larger than imagine ....

Thankfully the Foundation is almost done, and we need only 3 to 4 thousand dollars more to finish it before winter settles in completely . Yet the juggle of paying my women as they so rightfully deserve continues . It is  so important that they do not ever suffer for the ups and downs involved in the expansion of our project . Yet things are so tight , every transaction a shuffle , every deadline looming . Each moment I cannot help but carry the fear that one blink, one instant , one shutter, will take our house , our livelihood , and our dreams away.